LOL! Forgive me for using the IIMs as a bait to attract you to my blog post! If you’re suffering from the ‘All-I-Want-Is-An-IIM Syndrome’, I empathize with you enough to bring you up to the stark reality. No, I don’t have any magic potion that will make you any wittier or brighter than your competition. But I have a checklist. Yes, a checklist of requirements you must meet in order for you to convert into that slice of succulent meat that the IIM dog will voraciously lap up.
If you have already received your interview calls, then I must warn you that reading any further might lead to dejection, depression or even trichotillomania (whatever that means). Although the best time to start implementing this checklist is while you’re still in the womb, the earlier you realize its importance, the greater are your chances of converting your calls.
Here we go:
- Be an IITian.
Yes, Mr. IITian, you’re allowed to grin here because you have an arsenal of achievements you can boast of before an interview panel made up of your fellow IITians. Oh boy, such is thy brotherhood!
If you’re a non-IITian reading this, I’m afraid you’re a little too late. But never mind, you sure are at least an engineer! No? Did you say no? Oh dear, you’ve got reason to fear. We all know you’re way smarter than your engineer competition (and you’d beat every single one of them at an English grammar test even in your slumber) but let’s make it plain and clear – you are NOT going to crack the CAT. Memories of integrating and disintegrating variables will haunt you every night until you realize your brain has disintegrated into millions of tiny useless particles. RIP!
- Be a university topper.
Nah, you cannot be an engineer with a low CGPA. It doesn’t matter if it is the rule of logical thinking that a topper is a topper because the others are not toppers. If you slogged your way into your college, you must also slog your way out of it. That is the bottom line.
- Be a national level sportsperson
Naturally, the earlier you start playing your sport, the more chances you have of cracking your interview (you obviously don’t want them to know you started playing to brighten your IIM chances)! And while you’re still choosing what sport to opt for, remember to be different as well as realistic. Slogging to become a part of the national cricket team in an overpopulated country that worships cricket is as monotonous as it is impossible. After all, there’s only one Sachin and he wouldn’t care for an IIM seat.
- Have a passion
Hobbies are passé. Passions are the next big thing (no, being passionate in bed does NOT count!). To be on the safer side, have two or three passions so you can easily divert the conversation in case the interviewers decide to dig deep into your passions. And once again, out-of-the-box passions would just do the trick. A much-needed clarification: reading, cooking, music and photography are considered to be daily chores. They must not even be misunderstood as hobbies, forget passions. Fire walking, taxidermy, astrophotography and fossil hunting are examples of passions that would put you on a highway to your IIM dreams.
- Be an entrepreneur
Start your own venture because it’s cool to do so. More importantly, get your venture valued at several crores of rupees and you’re good to go. Ah yes, it is difficult to sacrifice a multi-crore business for a management diploma but you’ve got to remind yourself that your original dream was always an IIM and not entrepreneurship.
While the above constitute the most basic qualities of a potential suitor for the IIM bride, the list, of course, is not exhaustive. You could also add to your bio other achievements like owning a patent, floating an NGO or even receiving an award from the President!
Done all of that? You are now ready to write the CAT! Goodluck!
Great work man……insanely hilarious……..keep the laments coming
Sure Aditya!
Thank you.